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As soon as I say "Allemagne", Algérie rises and follows it like its shadow. I note that I say "Allemagne" in French, because it is in French that my mothers wove and sheltered their house and their body aus Deutschland. Hid them, when they thought it was necessary during the war. They "smuggled" their primary truth under cover of French. At home in Oran, Omi always said "where we come from", "chez nous", in French, to formulate a law or an authoritative custom, and this "where we come from" was Germany. On occasion I heard her say "Bei uns", but her imperative way of printing the German order in our brains chose to "speak German in French" to us in order to impose herself. Still today, the word Allemagne has the taste of Dom and Schlagsahne for me, or a Schubertian sonorous fluidity. In my doublelanguage childhood – Dyoublong, as Joyce says – French passed as German and German flowed into French, to my great satisfaction. Invitations from one language to another gave me a playful pleasure that seems to me today like the primal scene of all jouissance : to be two, as two, to be the other with myself, to always have the helping hand of a supplement, to never be enclosed in the cell of the proper-to-myself, of the national, to dispose of all means of transport, to overflow at will. The delight of painlessly foreigning oneself.
As soon as I say "Allemagne", Algérie rises and follows it like its shadow. I note that I say "Allemagne" in French, because it is in French that my mothers wove and sheltered their house and their body aus Deutschland. Hid them, when they thought it was necessary during the war. They "smuggled" their primary truth under cover of French. At home in Oran, Omi always said "where we come from", "chez nous", in French, to formulate a law or an authoritative custom, and this "where we come from" was Germany. On occasion I heard her say "Bei uns", but her imperative way of printing the German order in our brains chose to "speak German in French" to us in order to impose herself. Still today, the word Allemagne has the taste of Dom and Schlagsahne for me, or a Schubertian sonorous fluidity. In my doublelanguage childhood – Dyoublong, as Joyce says – French passed as German and German flowed into French, to my great satisfaction. Invitations from one language to another gave me a playful pleasure that seems to me today like the primal scene of all jouissance : to be two, as two, to be the other with myself, to always have the helping hand of a supplement, to never be enclosed in the cell of the proper-to-myself, of the national, to dispose of all means of transport, to overflow at will. The delight of painlessly foreigning oneself.
Hélène Cixous: I say Allemagne nationality example | |
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Science & Technology | Upload TimePublished on 24 May 2016 |
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